Vendor Review: Arrya Decoration

Sebenernya waku mau ketok palu vendor ada sedikit kebimbangan. Suami lebih pengen Arrya, sedangkan gw lebih pengen Sulthan. Tapi akhirnya gw mengalah karena yaa sebenernya gw suka dan sreg juga sama Arrya decoration. Waktu meeting pertama gw ketemu sama Mas Arya nya langsung. Mas Arya udah ready banget, udah siapin rincian item-item yang akan gw dapat with and without upgrade. Which is smart. Soalnya pasti calon client kan pengennya yang lebih bagus hahaha. Mas Arya juga sistematis banget orangnya, dan dateng udah dengan bawa contoh foto yang terorganisir dengan rapi di laptopnya, nilai plus banget! Terus bener-bener dengerin mau kita apa, dan ngasih saran juga bagusnya dikombinasiin kayak gimana pelaminannya, standing flower, pergola, dllnya. Sreg banget lah pokoknya. Akhirnya kita pilih Arrya dan langsung atur schedule untuk meeting kedua.

Buat meeting kedua, gw janjian sama Mas Arya di kantornya langsung. Tapi pas sampe, ternyata Mas Arya nya malah lagi meeting sama calon client lain di daerah Serpong, dan gw disitu ketemu sama Mas Agus. Menurut gw bertolak belakang banget pas meeting sama Mas Agus. Dia jelasinnya ga sistematis dan sangat ga informatif. Bikin gw sama Ion jadi agak deg-degan sih waktu itu, takut banget kalo dekor jadi kenapa-kenapa hahah. Karena masih ga percaya, jadi gw bikin janji lagi sama Mas Arya dan minta buat ketemu Mas Arya nya langsung. Disini gw ketemu Mbak Wulan dulu. Kalo Mbak Wulan sih emang cukup informatif orangnya, jadi gw juga seneng-seneng aja konsultasi dan pilih-pilih item dekorasinya. Terus disambung dengan ngobrol sama Mas Arya buat finalisasi item dan pilih warna kain. Disitu gw pilih warna kain untuk gold, putih, dan navy blue-nya (inget ya, gw sama suami nunjuk warna dan kita seneng bgt karena Arrya punya kain warna navy blue. Terus Mas Arya sendiri yang bilang "Oh navy blue ya Mbak, ada doong kita. Oke, jadi kombinasinya dengan navy blue ya" sambil ngomong gitu sambil ngetik di kontraknya).

Langsung masuk ke Hari-H yaa.

Plus:
- Pelaminan gw BAGUS BANGET. Super puas, lebih bagus dari ekspektasi gw. Warna bunga semuanya sesuai banget sama permintaan gw. Dan Mas Arya ngasih saran untuk pakai naga gold di atas gebyok dan gunungan wayang di kanan kiri karena pelaminan gw cukup lebar. Jadinya bagusssss.
- Standing flowernya cantik banget.
- Overall semua temen-temen dan sodara gw yang ngasih komen mengenai dekor semua bilang bagus banget.
- Pas ada masalah, Mas Arya cukup kooperatif untuk mau dihubungi pagi-pagi dan mau menyelesaikan masalah juga.

Masalah? emang ada apa? OK, kita masuk ke down side nya. Yang bikin gw misuh-misuh galak jam 4 pagi di hari-H nikahan gw (sampe ditenangin sama bride assistant dari WO Einhardt dan diingetin kalo ada WO untuk handle hal itu. Hahaha)

Minus:
- Pas gw sampe, naik lift, dan pintu lift kebuka................. warna kain untuk tenda penerima tamunya salah aja dong gengs. malah biru kehijauan gitu. Mirip-mirip tosca. Gw tadinya langsung ga berani mau masuk ballroom, takut jelek atau ga sesuai kontrak. Tapi alhamdulillaah dalemnya ga ada masalah berarti kecuali warna pergola, yang malah jadi putih-silver. Padahal udah bilang ke Mas Arya semua kain kombinasinya putih-gold-navy aja.
- Ternyata orang Arrya yang in charge di hari-H Mas Agus. Pas gw protes ke Mas Agus kenapa warnanya salah, dia malah defensif gitu. Bilangnya "kalo di Arrya ya warna navy blue emang kayak gitu Mbak" ngasal banget jawabannya.. Padahal Mas Arya sendiri yang nulis navy blue pas gw nunjuk warna biru dongker itu. Udah gw wanti-wanti banget jangan salah warna. Gw cuma bilang gw ga mau tau pokoknya harus diganti, dan gw bawa-bawa nama Mas Arya, terus gw minta tolong orang Einhardt WO untuk urus pokoknya gw ga mau warna itu haha.
- Akhirnya kainnya diganti tapi jadi biru tua biasa, dan gw baru liat ini waktu mau kirab resepsi. Ya.. ikhlaskan lah ya, paling engga mendingan dibandingin biru kehijauan. Tapi sedih banget sih, nyeseknya masih sampe sekarang.... He he.
- Warna handbouquet gw malah peach, bukannya biru. Ini gw minta handbouquet emang baru H-7 kalo ga salah. Jadi udah terlalu pusing buat ngecek update kontrak. Ternyata di kontraknya emang Mas Arya (atau Mbak Wulan) nulisnya handbouquet warna peach. Sebenernya bagus-bagus aja sih. Tapi gw kecewa nya, kenapa sih ga disesuaikan aja sama tema acara gw? Biru gitu. Hehehe masa gw harus spesifik minta warna biru. Gw cuma bilang minta handbouquet, warna bunganya disesuaikan aja sama warna bunga dekor. Mereka kan orang dekorasi jadi I expected mereka bisa lebih aware sama keselarasan warna handbouquet dengan tema acara gw. Untungnya, pelaminan gw gebyok putih dan baju gw beludru hitam. Jadi warna handbouquetnya ga terlalu bermasalah kalo di foto.
- Dekorasi wedding car below my expectation. Apalagi pita pink yang di bagian pintunya. Kaya beli pita jadi di gramedia huhu. Untung bunganya bagus (meskipun lagi-lagi, ga ada bunga birunya. Heran.)
- Di pohon maple putih lampu LEDnya malah warna ungu. Dan ini gw sama Ion baru sadar pas udah naik pelaminan pas resepsi. Jadi udah ga bisa minta ganti haha. Padahal udah wanti-wanti ke Mas Arya semua LED warnanya warm white.

Jadi saran dari gw, sebenernya Arrya ini recommended karena emang bagus dekornyaaa. Terus mereka kayaknya emang udah cukup sering handle client yang temanya jawa modern. Cantik deh pokoknya. Cuma mungkin harus lebih detail pas lagi buat kontraknya, meminimalisir ada salah paham. Mungkin sebaiknya gw minta Mas Arya nulis biru dongker instead of navy blue. Terus pergola juga gw minta tulis warna kainnya disitu, biar ngga ada yang salah. Hehehe.

Pelaminan gw. Ini ngga keliatan, tapi di kanan kiri nya ada gunungan wayang. Warna bunganya biru, putih dan soft pink

Backdrop photobooth

Pergolanya yang akhirnya udah dibenerin warna kainnya. You can also see on the left poon maple putih yang LEDnya malah warna ungu, bukannya warm white.

wedding car

See why I said kayak pita beli jadi di gramed? Apa emang semua wedding car dekorasinya gini ya? Haha

Ini bisa kelihatan sedikit warna biru di tenda penerima tamu. Ada mertua gw gapapa lah ya :P

Up next: Puspita Sawargi Catering

Vendor Review: Hijau Indah Selaras (HIS) Wedding Venue and Organizer

As I told you, our wedding was held in Smesco. Jadi kalo di Smesco itu ada dua ruangan yang bisa dipake untuk nikahan, yang dipegang oleh WO yang berbeda. Yang gw pilih itu HIS tempatnya di Convention Hall. Satu lagi BRP, tempatnya di Nareswara Ballroom. Kenapa gw pilih yang HIS, karena di tanggal yang gw mau (23 Juli 2016) di Nareswara yang siang udah booked. Terus yang HIS kapasitasnya lebih besar sih, bisa 1500-2000 tamu. Kalo di BRP kapasitasnya 800-1000. Jadi akhirnya kita pilih yang HIS.

Kalo di HIS (dan BRP), sistemnya tuh wedding package. Jadi mereka udah nyiapin beberapa macam paket, kita pilih mau yang mana. Kalo BRP mereka nyediain paket untuk 600, 800, dan 1000 pax kalo ga salah. Kalo HIS, paket mereka semua untuk 800 pax, tapi harganya beda tergantung dari vendor catering yang mau kita pilih jadi ada grade cateringnya. Kita tinggal pilih mau paket yang mana, nanti mereka jelasin dengan harga sekian kita bakal dapet apa aja (dapet item dekorasi apa aja, dapet item catering apa aja, dapet rias busana untuk berapa orang, dll). Awalnya harganya terdengar sangat menyenangkan sih. Tapi ternyata, setelah gw perhatiin paketnya dan meeting dengan beberapa vendor, sebenernya ujung-ujungnya gw harus upgrade lagi karena kalo dari paketan HIS itu dapetnya minim gituu. Jadi buat yang mau wedding di Smesco jangan lupa siapin budget untuk upgrade juga yaa hehe. Dan jangan lupa, harga paket wedding ini masih di luar souvenir dan undangan. Jadi kalo lagi itung-itung budget jangan ngepasin sama harga wedding package-nya HIS ajaa. Nah, selain item-item untuk pernikahannya, HIS ini paketnya juga udah termasuk complimentary Weddig Organizer, yang akan gw review juga tapi di post review WO nantinya (karena gw pake WO Einhardt juga, jadi nanti akan compare kinerjanya juga).

OK, akan gw mulai dengan review venue.

Plus:
- Gedung ini kapasitasnya besar dan ceiling tinggi banget! Jadi super lega banget, ga terkesan sempit. Kemarin acara gw yg dateng 1200 out of 1500, dan sama sekali ga desek-desekan. Pas gw dikasih tau sama WO yang dateng sebanyak itu aja gw kaget hahaha karena pas dari pelaminan keliatannya masih lega banget.
- Gedungnya berkarpet. Ini masuk kriteria gedung gw soalnya, harus karpet. So it's a plus for me.
- Warna karpet, tembok, dan ceilingnya biru. Buat gw ini plus karena emang acara gw color theme nya navy blue - gold - white. Jadi masuk banget. Cuma kalo untuk yang warnanya kontras dengan biru mungkin jadinya agak ngga nyambung yah hehehe. Tapi kalo gw liat-liat banyak aja kok orang yang color themenya macem-macem dan cuek-cuek aja ngadain acara disini. Jadi ga usah sedih gengs, survey aja dulu.
- Ada parkir basement, lengkap dengan lift yang bisa langsung sampai ke lantai tempat ballroomnya. Gw mikirin tamu yang udah sepuh, kasihan kalo harus jalan jauh naik eskalator, atau harus digotong-gotong.
- Gedungnya cukup baru, jadi ga terkesan tua apalagi kusam ga terawat. Jadi biikin acara juga ngga malu-maluin hehehe.

Minus:
- Parkirannya sedikit banget. Dan ada dua venue di satu gedung. Jadi parkirannya rebutan. Parahnya lagi, pas hari-H kemarin di lantai dasar ada jobfair........... lemes banget. Banyak temen dan sodara yang ga bisa dateng saking macetnya masuk Smesco kemarin.
- Ruang riasnya kecil banget dan lorong area ruang riasnya juga sempit. Jadi kalo keluarga yang modelnya rame dan semuanya didandanin dan pakai baju dari sanggar, you might want to reconsider.
- Akses masuk ruang rias hanya dari ballroom. Jadi pas mau kirab udah keburu bocor duluan keliatan sama tamunya huhuhu.
- Parkirannya bayar. Hehehe jadi kasian tamunya harus bayar parkir. Yaa meskipun bukan yang mahal banget tapi tetep ajaa.

Ini foto-foto acara yang (mudah-mudahan) bisa kasih gambaran gedungnya, hehe.





Itu sih kurang lebih. Lumayan yaa, spacious dan ceilingnya tinggi. Selebihnya mungkin bisa googling atau liat account instagram mereka langsung @hissmesco.

Up next: dekorasi (Arrya Decoration).

Wedding Preparation A-Z!

FINALLY! We got Indihome installed in our house. Alhamdulillah udah ga tinggal di goa lagi haha. Now I can start writing on my blog again.

As promised, I'm going to write about our wedding preparation. And in separate posts I'll write review and personal experiences about our vendors, one post for each. But I'm still waiting for photos from my Photo & Video vendor, though. So this may take a month or two to finish. But still I hope this will help someone out there who's trying to figure out what to do and where to start your preparation.

 

This was the Same Day Edit Video by Mint Studio.

So, as I told you on earlier post, we had 4 months to prepare our wedding. I'm not gonna lie, it was hectic. Even buat gw yang udah cukup familiar dengan persiapan pernikahan. And the fact that Ion works out of town and I myself was working too (back then though. Now I'm a housewife.) made us only do vendor meetings and all preparation on weekends, and phonecall EVERYDAY on weekdays to discuss things. We only got 17 weekends. That, minus Eid holiday, minus me working on wedding events, minus when Ion didn't come to Jakarta, minus family gatherings where we met each other but didn't get to prepare our wedding. You do the math. Basically, kita selalu bikin plan di tiap weekend nya mau ngapain aja, sebisa mungkin dipadatin 2-3 hal yang dilakuin dalam sehari. Lumayan sih capeknya (dan uang sih. abis buat bensin, tol, parkir. Makan aja ngirit semahal-mahalnya burger king, terfavorit mie ayam yunus hahaha). But overall it was fun.

The first step was to decide our budget, how many guests will we invite, and when the wedding is gonna be held on. These things will help you to find the perfect venue. To save time and energy (and money), I did a lot of phone calls and browsing (for availability, capacity, price and down payment or cancellation fee, facilities, etc.) before I finally decided which venue I'd like to see with my own eyes. Waktu survey harus banyak tanya ini itu biar bener-bener paham tentang peraturan gedung, dan yang pasti harus mastiin vendor rekanannya bagus-bagus atau paling ga namanya familiar. Kalo gedungnya punya, jangan lupa liat album contoh-contoh nikahan yang pernah diadakan disitu biar punya bayangan. And finally we chose Smesco Convention Hall as our venue, for first session wedding on 23 July 2016. We got the vendors list, and then the hard part began: choosing vendors. But thanks to technology, it wasn't hard to look for reviews and vendor performances. Blogs, youtube, instagram, and many of the vendors even gor their own website. It helped us to narrow down our choices. Singkat cerita, setelah pilih-pilih vendor (ada yang dari browsing aja udah jelas mau pilih yang mana, ada yang masih pengen ketemu beberapa vendor buat pilihan, ada yang udah pasti sih tapi pengen meeting dulu biar lebih yakin, banyak-banyak nanya sama marketing venuenya juga), kita meeting sama semua vendor yang udah fix untuk tanya-tanya masalah performance mereka di Smesco, perlu upgrade dari paket Smesco atau engga (dan berapa biayanya), dan hal-hal lain yang perlu ditanyain. Then, kita bikin catatan harus ngapain aja sama tiap vendor untuk persiapan sampe hari H. This was more or less my note (if you want to you can use this note. Don't forget to adapt it to your own vendors though. Bisa jadi beda karena kalo di Smesco modelnya paket wedding dan WO. Ini baru to-do listnya aja yang gw bikin setelah meeting pertama. More info on each vendor will be up in the review post.):

• Venue dan WO HIS: Pastiin fasilitas yang didapat (ada yang mau di take-out dari paket atau ga, apa aja yang perlu diupgrade), minta list MC, kasih persyaratan untuk KUA (kalo di Smesco udah sepaket sama WO jadi mereka yang urus ke KUA Pancoran), pilih tanggal paket honeymoon, tentukan tanggal technical meeting, kasih list tamu VIP, kasih list foto, kasih gambaran rundown

• Catering (Puspita Sawargi): Food testing, minta list menu lengkap plus harga, tanya masalah saran untuk porsi makanan yang sesuai dengan jumlah tamu, dateng ke booth PS di pameran untuk dapet bonus pameran, finalisasi menu dan jumlah porsi, pilih warna dekor.

• Dekorasi (Arrya Decoration): Pastiin paket upgrade dapat apa aja, lihat contoh semua item (pelaminan, pergola, standing flower, backdrop photobooth, wall galery, kursi pelaminan, hiasan, dll) dan contoh warna kain, finalisasi tema, warna, dna item yang mau dipakai.

• Rias dan Busana (Sanggar Talitha): Tentukan berapa banyak keluarga yang mau dirias dan pakai beskap, pastiin paketnya dapat apa aja dan harus nambah berapa banyak, pilih baju untuk akad dan resepsi, pilih baju untuk keluarga dan penerima tamu, fitting keluarga, kasih list nama dan ukuran keluarga yang rias dan beskap, kasihj list nama dan ukuran penerima tamu, fitting H-7.

• Foto Video (Mint Studio):  Tanya detail dapet apa saja, perlu tambah personil fotografer/videografer ga dan berapa biayanya, kasih pilihan lagu untuk video same day edit (SDE) dan dokumentasi wedding, kasih foto-foto untuk looping hari H.

• Entertainment (Taman Music Entertainment): Lihat mereka punya paket apa aja untuk upgrade, pilih singer, kasih list wedding song untuk hari H (kasih lebih dari 25 untuk back up kalau ada lagu yang susah diulik), kasih list nama keluarga dan teman yang boleh sumbang lagu

• WO (Einhardt): Kasih data umum client, kasih list vendor, kasih gambaran rundown, kasih kontrak-kontrak dengan semua vendor, kasih list tamu VIP, kasih list foto, bicarakan teknis hari H (berapa orang in charge dan plottingan tugasnya masing-masing, ada request rundown acara atau tidak)

• Undangan (Ridho Card): Liat-liat contoh, tanya harga dan minimum pemesanan, kasih gambaran design awal, revisi design, liat contoh digital print, ambil undangan dan souvenir, QC, tuker yang gagal, ambil yang baru, list nama undangan, print label, tempel label, kirim.

• Souvenir (Ridho car): Tentukan design, lihat contoh design, ambil hasil jadi.

• Bridesmaid gift: Buat design kartu, revisi design, print, beli tas dan pita, pack, meet the girls!

• Prewedding photo: cari-cari contoh referensi, meeting, siapin properti, foto!

• KUA: Pastiin dokumen apa aja yang diperlukan, urus surat ke RT dan RW, urus ke kelurahan, urus ke KUA domisili.

• Cincin dan Kotak Seserahan (Cikini Gold Center): datang, pilih, pulang.

• Body treatment (Martha Tilaar Bintaro. For brides to be, ini penting!): Tanya paket dan harga, datang sesuai paket yang didapat.

That was my note. More or less. Then we decided which things can we do together at once (contoh: catering pas meeting pertama akan minta list menu dan harga sekalian nanya-nanya tentang jumlah porsi, setelah itu DP di pameran biar dapet bonusan, setelah itu meeting lagi untuk finalisasi menu dan jumlah pemesanannya sekalian tentuin warna dekor untuk taplak dan bunganya), and allocate the meetings to our time table. Jadi terkontrol. Kalo ada yang batal dilakukan di weekend itu, cari-cari lagi bisa ngapain biar waktu nggak kebuang. Begituu deh sampai hari-H. Alhamdulillaah di hari-H secara overall acaranya lancar dan ga ada masalah yang berarti (except for the insane traffic and parking problems on our D-Day).

So that was the big picture of how we prepared our wedding. Sounds so much easier than it actually was. But we survived it anyway haha. More blog posts coming up on each vendors as soon as possible yah :)

10, 9, 8... It's Getting Closer!

So. It's down to 10 days until the wedding.

And at this state, my friends have been asking the (more or less) same questions.

1. "How do you feel?"
Nervous as hell. Duh. What do you expect?
But despite wanting to lay down, rolling left and right embracing the nervousness, I still got much to do. MUCH, due to the short period of preparation. You know how you're feeling on that last day of work before a long, fun holiday where you can't concentrate at all? That's pretty much how I feel right now

2. "Do you fight a lot with Ion?"
Yes, I do fight a lot with him. Over the most unimportant things. And unfortunately for us, I was on my PMS last week (and for me the emotional roller coaster lasts for about 8-10 days so imagine being him. And me.) so it got even worse. He tried to be REALLY nice but well, he's a human being too so of course he got tired facing this grumpy woman who gets mad 24 hours a day. I also got tired, being mad takes energy, yes? But women will know we can't help it when it comes to PMS. Plus, my married-friends warned me that it's a common thing to experience these fights. When I was quite fed up with those fights, I googled about this (yes, I google things. This time the keyword is "couple fight before wedding"). And I found some forums and (not scientific) articles that says that it's perfectly normal for this to happen. Some even think to cancel their wedding. It's relieving in some ways. To know that I'm not alone, and to know that our fight didn't get that nasty until we... you know. I don't even want to finish my sentence. But after knowing that it's a common thing, I feel like I should be able to control it. It's hard because I'm quite bad-tempered myself, but I'll try my hardest not to be mad for too long. I think it's important to let him know why I'm upset, but I shouldn't make a fuss over it.

3. "They say you tend to doubt your decision to be married to your partner when the wedding gets closer. Is it real?"
Nope. At least to me. I do find him irritating at times, hence those fights, but never for a second I doubted him. Instead, that gives me a clearer picture of what I'm about to face in my marriage. What he likes and dislikes, what makes him mad or happy, how he deal with problems, how he sees the world. No, I haven't known him that much yet, but I sure know him better. And what I like the most about this is, not only him but I also get to know myself better. What I need to improve, what I'm good at, what I need to do to calm myself down, and so on. No, that doesn't make me an expert of relationships and that sure doesn't stop us from having problem. But problems become more bearable when you know who you're facing it with and what you can do about it.


So. Yeah. 10 days. Holy guacamole.

Counting down the days!

It's D-31. Gosssshhh I'm excited. And nervous. And as far as I know, it's completely normal. Still on that Bridezilla state because the invitations are not ready to be delivered yet. And I haven't fixed the order to the caterer. But I'm sure I'll get it done. I've always been a deadliner my whole life and usually the closer I get to deadline, the better I perform. So I have nothing to worry about, right? Righhttttt??! HEHE.

I know I promised to share about my wedding preparation here. But on a second thought, I'll leave that for later. Maybe along with review of the vendors' performance on the D-day. My days are full with preparing the wedding already I don't feel like thinking about it here as well. :D

Bridezilla

Okay. I'm gonna pour my heart out on this one. This is going to be a long one. Just like all my posts. Pardon me for being very talkative.

So. I'm more than familiar with the word "Bridezilla", but I never really knew what it means, what it feels like to be one. We began all the preparation process in the end of March. So we had about 4 months to prepare everything. Choosing venue and vendors, vendor meetings, pre-wedding photo session, family meetings, and so much more to do. I actually kinda enjoy it. I mean, I'm a wedding organizer myself. It's not easy but... I. Love. This. I gotta admit that I even thought that maybe the word Bridezilla only comes to those brides-to-be who aren't very familiar with wedding preparation. Or those with a mega-wedding and there are just sooooo much to take care of.

I mean... The experience of having a wedding (and more importantly, a marriage) coming up will definitely be different from one person to another. And I'm about to share mine. For me, what finally makes me a Bridezilla is not only the wedding preparation. It's all the consequences that comes with the decision that you, a woman, is going to let go of the life you have now in order to build a new life with this one man of your choice. All of them, mixed in your head.

Wedding Preparation
This isn't new at all. Your Dad wants to make sure that the wedding celebration, the last time he's ever going to give his daughter what she wants, is good enough. He wants his friends to see his beautiful daughter and his son-in-law. And that means... Big party. Preparing a big party is not something that can be done so easily, is it? 

Family
In Indonesia, we all know that in making decisions for your big day, you have to consider not only what you (and your fiance) want, but also your parents, his parents, your aunts your uncles your cousins your brothers and the list goes on. It's kinda depressing when you already had all idea of your dream wedding in your head but then it doesn't go together with what your family wants. On one hand you have to understand that you can't always have it your way because it's life, not Burger King. But one the other hand... "it's MY wedding! Why don't YOU just say yes to make me happy?". So you'll try to figure out how to decide when to stick to your plan, and when to say yes to advice given from your aunt.

Image of Ideal Wife
You both are in phase of facing the reality: you'll be a wife, he'll be a husband. It's a big decision that comes with big responsibility. I personally I thought a lot about what kind of wife I should be, and constantly comparing that to where I am now. That's gives me pressure in some ways. Since I was a kid, my mom always told me that once I'm married, I have to dedicate my life to my husband. I have to take care of him, be a nice woman, talk softly, be gentle to him, and so on. While, being just the way I am now, I'm nowhere near that. I speak loudly and get upset so easily. 
What if I can't find a way to cheer him up one day? 
What if I can't take a good enough care of our house? 
What if he doesn't like the food I make? 
What if I'm running out of ideas about what to cook for the day? 
What if I don't know what to do when we both don't have anything to do?
What if I'm not good enough in bed and he eventually gets bored? (yes. this also came into my mind.)
What if I'm not good enough at managing our money?
What if this what if that.
Those kinds of little thoughts have been bothering my mind these past few weeks. We already talked a lot about our after-marriage life, but still, I can't help myself.

Time
Your wedding is a few weeks away. You still got so much to prepare. But with a few weeks away of being his completely, you still got those things you want to do that you won't be able to do again after you're married. Ion had been very cooperative by sacrificing his time with his friends. He haven't seen any of his closest friends in the past 3 months for our wedding preparation. But me, I'm the selfish one here. I didn't want to let go the last chance I have to join the WO crew because I thought "after we got married I will never do one single thing without your permission. My whole life, I will dedicate to you. So I want you to understand that this is something I really love doing, and I want you to give me a chance to do it one last time." This caused quite a fight.

Money
I just graduated and I started working a month after. Now that I have my own money, I want to buy this and that. You know, it feels different when you buy something with your own money that you earn yourself. And well... we're girls. We won't run out of things to buy. But on the other hand, I'm about to start a new life with Ion. We rented a small house and are now slowly furnishing it. It really is hard to decide which one I'd like more: 
1. To take my brothers out for dinner because I don't have much time left with them.
2. To buy one set of Bioderma Sensibio series because my face is breaking out at the point that I think it needs a really good care - not just a regular face wash
3. To buy a pair of Birkenstock because my sandals are broken so it's better to spend more for a good one that would make it through a few years ahead.
4. To save the money for a dining table. Or sets of blindfold. Or parquette. Or this or that, the list doesn't stop.

The Wait
I can't stay calm and wait for the D-day. I want to skip all 50 (as per today) days that stands between now and the big day. I want to be able to wake him up every morning (I do now, by the way. I give him wake up call every single morning), I want to make sure that he eats good stuff since he's not an omnomnomnivore like I am, I want to give him massage and make him coffee or tea when he got home from work. Every single goodbye gets harder. It's only for a week for God's sake. We have to meet every weekend to prepare things but as I said, it gets harder and harder every time. And while being in love and being care about him is a good thing, the "missing him" part is not pleasant. I want it to end soon because it's just not bearable anymore. Unpleasant condition equals stressor.

Being a Daughter
Last but not least. This is the hardest part that had me cry almost every time I take time to give a deep thought about this. I am much closer to Mom than Dad. But God knows why, the bond is stronger with Dad. Since the engagement day, every time I welcome him from work or send him off to work in the morning he looks at me in the eye, as if he's saying "Soon you won't be mine again". That's hard. Realizing that in no time, the house I've been living in since I was born won't be mine to come home to every single day. That lovely room of mine, I won't be sleeping in it every night. Thinking how mom would be the only woman in the house (and she survived a stage 3B breast cancer last year so she won't be in a great condition she used to be in. She felt tired easily of course, given the fact that she's getting old too.), with three messy boys in the house. Sure we have two very nice and helpful maids, but still. She won't have me (as I won't have her) to have "small talk sambil males-malesan di kasur" every day. And I won't hear my brothers fight every weekend again :"D Been living with the four of them my whole life, with all the love and the fight in it. Now it's getting closer to say goodbye to them. I can assure you that I will cry very hard when I ask for Dad's permission to get marry on my Akad nikah day.

Every single thing above bothering my mind at the same time is a little bit too much to handle. So I'm happy and sad and stressed out at the same time. For me, that is why I can call myself a bridezilla at this stage. 


But now, despite how it keeps me up at night, and how it all come to my dreams, I'm trying to embrace the mixed feelings because this is once in a lifetime feeling. 


And above all, I feel blessed for having best parents, best girlfriends, and the best fiance I could have ever asked for. :)

Wedding preparation in 3... 2.... 1.......

We all know what comes after the engagement: The wedding (preparation) itself. And we all know what it means to prepare a wedding, especially in Indonesia: bridezilla time! *ugh*

At the engagement party we announced to our family and friends that we'll tie the knot on October this year, if not earlier. By earlier we meant a month or two. But well..... things after things happened and.... well, July it is. So we only have 4 months to prepare everything from scratch because we haven't started anything yet. Not until this week. No, it's not because we're lazy arses. It's because there are things to take care of before we can settle the date. So again, July it is.

I myself is involved in a wedding organizer. So I'm more or less quite familiar with things that I have to take care of. But still, when it comes to my own wedding, it really is quite a hard time trying to make peace with budget and still not letting go of my dream wedding. I even fight with my fiancee, and even my mom, over this. Disitu gw bener-bener sampe mikir "oh wow, kerumitan menjelang pernikahan itu benar adanya" haha because it is, especially with a tight budget :P But then again, pacar gw tunangan gw selalu ngingetin 

"yang penting kan esensi acaranya aku nikah sama kamu. Aku mah mau cuma acara akad doang juga ga masalah. Yang ada bayangan mau ini itu kan kamu. Jadi jangan sampe ribet apalagi terlalu maksain buat acara resepsi lah. Budgetnya ada segini, ini bukan jumlah yang kecil loh. Sama sekali ga kecil, bisa banget bikin acara bagus asal kitanya pinter ngaturnya. Undangannya juga dipilih lagi bener-bener" 

That's what he said. More or less. Habis digituin rasanya kaya ditampar sedikit haha. He's right in every way. The most important thing is the marriage itself, not the wedding. After giving a deep thought, I do think it's not necessary to invite hundreds or even thousands of people that most of them, in my prediction, I don't even know. The objective is to share our happiness with close family and friends. So that's what we plan to do. I even am beginning to say "yang, gila bgt ngabisin uang segini buat acara 2 jam ya. mendingan buat DP rumah sama mobil gak sih?" Hahaha. 

To be honest I'm a bit nervous facing the preparation. Takut tiba-tiba ada pengeluaran besar tak terduga lah, takut ada yang baru keinget di belakang meskipun sebisa mungkin semua udah dilist dari awal sedetail-detailnya, Takut tiba-tiba pusing sendiri, daaan yang terpenting, Ion (nama tunangan gw) sekarang kerja di Kuningan, Jawa Barat. Ever since he moved there, kerjaannya jadi superbanyak sibuk banget, on working hours nyaris ga bisa dihubungin, even di waktu istirahat. Jadi agak deg-degan juga nih dia pasti kalo lagi ga balik cuma akan bisa handle things setelah maghrib, dan tentunya hanya bisa via telfon/chat/email. Sejauh ini sih dia Alhamdulillaahnya sangat SANGAT helpful dan mau ikut repot banget. Tapi tetep deg-degan hahaha. But I'm sure we'll get through this!

As for my preparation, I'll try to share the process here. Siapatau bisa berguna untuk calon pengantin lainnya yang lagi cari-cari referensi atau yang masih have no idea what to do banget terus perlu info untuk memulai. Enjoy!